Word for 2012: Compassion

Originally, I thought this post would be about willpower.  I was listening to public radio this week and there was a show on, what else, New Years Resolutions.  I was only half-listening until the guest began talking about willpower.  A person on the show was describing a habit he had and how he broke it.  His bad habit was eating good n plenty (ew!) any time he was in an airport.  He did this for years and years.  At some point, he said began thinking about how awful he would feel a few hours after eating the candy and once he had this thought, it broke the habit.   The guest, psychology instructor Kelly McGonigal, told him this was one of the best ways to fight bad habits.   To think ahead.  I decided this was right then the best advice I'd heard about change.

It seems so incredibly obvious that I'm not sure it would have had the same effect if I'd just read the words.  If I hadn't heard another word, I think this would have been enough ammunition to launch me ahead with my own resolutions.  I did, however, do a little more research.

McGonigal has written a book called The Willpower Instinct.   She connects willpower to your goals with the power of "I will, I won't and I want".  The "I will" and "I won't" is about self-control but the "I want" is tying your urges to a larger goal.  I've always considered myself to have very little willpower.

But I was stuck on the rigidity of self-control, or lack thereof.  I thought ahead to where I wanted to go, what I wanted to do.  This is where compassion comes in. One of my favorite blogs is Shutter Sisters http://shuttersisters.com/home/2012/1/4/searching-for-the-words.html.  They have a One Word Pool on Flickr where people are invited to post a picture with their word of the year attached.  A lot of words have come to mind.  I have a lot of hopes and dreams for this year and the years ahead.  Some of this will involve willpower.  Some of the hopes will involve plain old goal-setting.  Some of the desires and resolutions will be about "I will, I won't and I want".  But I realized that compassion is my word, the thing to help me set my intentions for the year ahead.  Giving myself a break if every day doesn't go according to plan, taking a nap when I'm really tired, taking a break when I'm over-extended.  Aiming for both small and big goals but being willing and able to adapt.  And opening myself up to compassion.  I spoil myself in many ways, but I don't think I give myself a break at times when it would be really helpful to just, well, give myself a break.  And give others a break in return.

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily

--Zig Ziglar

And I can see it.  I can see that year ahead, chaos and all.  I see victories and hopes staying alive and small changes in habits, a few less vices, some mistakes along the way, compassion for self, compassion for others, more napping, and a certain amount of mystery that makes each year one big surprise.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

--Mark Twain