My Blended Family Thanksgiving

Our holiday comes together a little differently each year.  Sometimes the kiddos are with us, sometimes not, sometimes both parents are with us, sometimes not, sometimes my brother and family are there, sometimes not.  One thing I realize is that no holiday will look the same from year to year. My favorite moments are usually when all of us manage to be in the same spot at the same time, even if only for a short time.  When we went out to take a family picture during our holiday gathering this year, there was some down time while I went to set up the tripod and camera.  While I messed around with camera settings and tried different locations, I glanced up and noticed my mom. She was cupping my stepdaughter's face and whispering something to her. Come to think of it, this was my mother so she probably wasn't whispering but I was far enough way that I couldn't hear.  But they just looked like any granddaughter and grandma talking to one another. I looked at the rest of my family scattered around the yard. My dad was chatting with my stepdad, probably about Chicago sports. My stepsons were running around the yard with our dog. My brother and my husband talked and watched them.  My sister-in-law stayed near her fast-moving toddler.  And my stepdaughter's face lit up as she listened to Grandma Kat. There are many things that can be difficult and inconvenient about a blended family.  There are times when I wish it was easier, when I question the circus-like logistics of trading children back and forth or planning get-togethers with parents and stepparents. Then we manage to all be in the same place at the same time and I see relationships more than statuses.  It's fine to differentiate between parent and steparent or child and stepchild but what really matters is the relationship. It's hard for me to remember this all of the time but there's usually a moment where this becomes very clear to me. And this Thanksgiving it was during family photo time, with everyone waiting to pose together, in unison. This is my blended family.

cousins, T & E

Our friend Larry joined us at dinner. He's been a family friend for 25 years. He brought along his two dogs which made four dogs running around the table. Sometimes you just have to give in to the chaos.